Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
