Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
