I think i peed on brittanys purse
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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