just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
