I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
