yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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