i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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