does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
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Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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