mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
