I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think a kid would responsible me up
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
