But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
