i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize
