will power is for people who don't want to get laid
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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