the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
