I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize