im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize