My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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