i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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