JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
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he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
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