Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
