in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Randomize
