he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
