I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
