dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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