Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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