Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
