I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Randomize
