If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
