If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
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He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
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Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real