dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni