no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.