Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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