She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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