Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made out with another girl for some wings
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize