if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
