i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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