So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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