For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
