Pants 0. Shit 1.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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