You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
