Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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