i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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