when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
