I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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