I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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