SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
