I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize