just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
