just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
