Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
