finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
she peed on how many people?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We talked him into tasing himself.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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