I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I think my moral compass just broke
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
