i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
