This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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