I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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