Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
