two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
