My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
40s are totally the cure
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
