grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
