I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You made out with two different species that night
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
