The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
