You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
