I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
