just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
