We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize