At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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