I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
