I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
