wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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