is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
