If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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